Thursday, February 23, 2006

where does snow go?

I've been contemplating the future of Robert's Snow for the last couple of days. Since its conclusion it seemed a certain decision that 2005 would be the last year, ever. It was too much work, too much stress, too much responsibility. Updating the website, juggling artist demands, figuring out finances--it was time away from Robert when he needed me and time away from work that paid for our living. It was time away from my life that I couldn't afford.

Yet, it was not a decision that I came to lightly. Was it right to stop what I had begun? To stop the momentum we've achieved? Was it selfish to pursue personal career goals instead? But the crux of it came down to Robert. "I want you to spend time with me," he said, "not trying to find a cure for me."

However, as he continues to battle and other colleagues and friends are stuck by heartbreaking diagnoses, I feel the twinges of guilt and responsibility.

Which leaves me in a dilemma. I cannot run Robert's Snow again; yet I feel it needs to be run. What to do? Where should Robert's Snow go? Buried quietly in the past? Or allowed to become a seasonal storm?

And while I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, Dana-Farber has dropped a rope from the sky. They've offered to take over the event, making it an internal affair. All I have to do is grab on, right?

"I don't think it's a good idea," Robert shakes his head, "I know you. Robert's Snow is your baby. You'll be crushed if they don't do it the way you think is right."

"I know," I said, "But the event shouldn't stop just because I'm a control freak. And even if it's not as successful-- a couple of thousand dollars is still better than zero."

So, I have hesitantly agreed. Dana-Farber will continue Robert's Snow in 2007 with plans to have it run every other year. Though, perhaps they will change their minds after they realize everything that needs to be done for I did.


Blogger Connie said...

YES, YES, YES!! While I certainly understand making Robert your prioirty, you have created an AMAZING thing, Grace, and it deserves at least the chance to continue. Even though there are bound to be some changes eventually, regardless of who runs it, who knows--maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised by how it goes. I was sorry to see it end and certainly hope you/they will count me in next year.

9:44 AM  
Blogger Teresa said...

I too am glad that Robert's Snow will continue, and I'm happy that you'll be able to spend more time with Robert and on your books.

What an outstanding fundraiser, by the way. I'm sure they'll do a fine job with it. And, this way you can bid on as many as you like.

7:47 AM  

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